Arlo Gilbert Blog

Here's one...

My little sister came over last night with some of her friends to "get their drink on" (those silly kids) and then go to some "club" that was having an 18+ Gay Night/Madonna Night.

This already sounds like it's going downhill super duper fast, I know.

It wasn't bad, at first.  She showed up with her doofy boyfriend and his football player friends.  We're hanging out, enjoying ourselves, all is well.

Then the girls showed up, like a fucking whirlwind.  We seriously were just sitting around my kitchen table, all was chill, and then suddenly my poor little apartment EXPLODED!!!

The guys were super mellow, but these girls... holy hell... they drank like 2 bottles of vodka in about 3 minutes, one girl was puking on my bathroom floor within, no joking here, 10 minutes.  Then she comes out, grabs some dude she brought starts making out all x-rated like and tried to pull him into MY bedroom.

I very very quickly put a stop to that... but I was still very, very confused about what the hell was going on in my house.  Seriously 0-60.

I had already made the bad decision to go to this "club" with them, mainly because I love partying with my little sis, and when would I ever get to go to a "club" with her?  Because it was gay night as well, I rang up my gay friend, cause, well, he's always up for going out, especially where he has the chance to make out with some dude, and, I needed someone of legal drinking age to, well, drink with.

Let's call him... Peter. (Ya, I'm giggling a bit with that nickname, he's totally not a Peter, but it's funny!)

Peter is the younger brother of my best friend in Chicago, the guy I play music with quite a bit, the guy I recorded with the night before.  Peter is probably closer to my Lady Love, he's kinda like her "girlfriend" when the four of us go out.  My friend and I will drink whiskey and beer and talk music, and my lady and Peter will gossip about what people are wearing and drink cosmos.

Last night was probably one of the first times I've hung out with just Peter, without my girl or his bro.

He shows up at my house in the middle of the madness, with a "what the hell is going on here?" expression.  I was afraid my house would fall apart, so I kicked everyone out to go to this "club".

We pile into my little sis's boyfriends super giant truck (not only is he a big doofy football player, he's a farm boy hick).  We arrive so very anxiously at the "club" and it suddenly hit me... what the fuck am I getting myself into???  But, my sister was there, we laughed together about it, and went for it.

Now, I'm a 26 year old white rocker kid.  I stepped into a strange universe, like an mtv rap video.  It was awesome!  Kinda.  Scantily clad whorish girls as far as the eye could see, all of which really just freaked me out.  Peter and I went to the very secured bar area, (we seriously had to show id's like 4 times before we could get a drink) knocked back a ridiculously overpriced drink to take the edge off, and chatted a bit.

I opened up to him about how tough things are with my Girl being gone, and how much I miss her, and how our communication has sucked lately.  Stuff I don't really talk to my guy friends about, but, he understands and listened.  It was pretty cool, actually.

Then we decided to hit the dance floor.  I love dancing.  I'm a horribly awkward dancer, but I love dancing, especially when I'm drunk, and I was drunk.  Everything fell into place rather perfectly.

Peter and I walked through the place, stopped to chat, and this super pretty dude came up to me and asked me to dance.  (I say super pretty, because, he really was... pretty in a gay guy way)  I was flattered, but passed him along to Peter.  Me and this guy were very much the minority in this place, that's for sure, and we both probably stuck out like a sore thumb, maybe that's why he picked me out of the crowd.

I also must make this clear.  For a "Gay Night", there weren't many gay dudes there.  Mainly the butchy scary lesbians. (is that ok to say?)

I found my sister and her friends, and had drunken dirty dance party with them (not with my sister, that's gross).  It was fun, I suppose.  I forget how sexual dancing is.  I only dance with my Girl, so of course that's gonna be sexual, but never with random girls.  They just get up on you and do their thang.

So that was that, we rounded up the troops to head home.  The place was super hot and sweaty and stinky by this point, I was so ready to get the ef outta there.

Peter hopped in a cab, and my sister's boy was gonna drop me off at my house, so I gave Peter a farewell salute of some sort and off we went.

I made it home, was really really really missing my girl, but she was out at an actual Club in LA, so she couldn't really talk, and I just needed to go to bed.

Then I get a text.

From Peter. (that still cracks me up calling him Peter)

He said, "fun times, next time I need to get laid."

I said, "I had a good time too, I really miss my Girl."

He said, "I can only imagine.  If you want some company tonight, let me know"

WHAT THE FUCK?

I laughed it off though, and said something like "Ha, I had a good time though, I'm glad you came out with me" thinking that was that.

beep! - and something like "I know we've talked about it, but have you ever hooked up with a guy? maybe when you were younger?"

What the hell? I said, "you know that's not my thing, I like my Girl more than anything."

beep! - "really? never? most people have but just won't ever talk about it."

I said "really, never, goodnight."

And that was that.

I totally threw me off though.  Made me really uncomfortable.  Not in anyway because I have a problem with the gay thing, just because he's a really good friend of mine and my Girl's, and he just came on to me.  I know it wasn't much, but it definitely crossed that imaginary line of comfort.

I think, in my own way, I understand a little better what you girls deal with in us guys.

My Little Lover Face had her phone off, AGAIN!!!, so I couldn't talk to her at the time, and I was really freaking out about it, so that was irritating.  She finally called me when she got home, and I told her, and she was pissed, and wanted to text him a nice, "what the fuck dude?" or something pleasant like that, I hopefully talked her out of it.  It's such a weird situation though.

If one of her real girl friends sent me texts like that, that would be soooo super not cool, but because it's Peter, and I'm not at all gay, it's just awkward.  She thinks it's the same thing though.  I don't know, it was just uncomfortable.

............ Holy Shit - as I'm typing this I was texting a friend of mine about it, he asked me what I said, and for some fucking reason sent this text to Peter that was meant for my other friend "I said you know that's not my thing, I really like my girl, it was so awkward"  Holy shit!  That's pretty hilarious though, I wonder what he'll say?

I'm such an idiot.  I can't believe I did that.  Stupid cell phones that they allow you to text the wrong person!!! AHHHH.

Fucking Hilarious though...

That's it for me... oh my God.

Playing RIGHT now:  Cold Water - Damien Rice

I feel knackered from an afternoon of studying. I took today off as holiday as my Open University course has started and I thought it would give me a head start. Had a nice lazy morning, got up late (well 30 mins later then normal), went for a run/walk/run, got showered and dressed, had breakfast while reading last weeks Sunday Times, went out to the local shops for a browse and brought lunch. Got back, checked emails (couldn't help myself!) and got down to the course. Read the booklet called 'READ-ME-FIRST' which seemed like a good place to start and then downloaded all the software which included Firefox. I'm already using Firefox and this managed upload a lower version then I already had so then I had to upgrade it again! Now I was all set for Lesson 1.

Lesson 1 on Design and the Web went really well and I discovered a new site called 'Web Pages that Suck' - had a good laugh while looking at that site! Took a couple of hours to get the first session done so I was quited pleased with myself. My eyes felt really tired from the studying but I was glad that I had started it. Decided after this I would go on the OU email/forum system and bloody hell, loads of students on the same course have done loads of stuff already! Now I feel slightly miserable that I'm already behind. I'm away for a couple days this weekend so I can't get anymore done until Monday - hope the weather is crap so I don't feel like I'm missing out on some sunshine (sorry everyone in the UK!).

Not sure if I will post anything tomorrow or Sunday as I said I'm away - are bloggers allowed holidays? Happy Bank Holiday weekend to everyone in the UK!

Some time ago an old friend signed in my blog, and soon after that we got together to chat some. First on the net, then IRL. We both like the same stuff, so we have plenty to chat about!

Go pay her a visit, http://vildaella.blogg.se/ and say Hi! to her and her dogs, Vilda and Ella!

With this latest move, Apple continues to grab for the portable media market. The latest addition is that consumers will be able to purchase recent releases on iTunes on the same day as it is released on DVD. At a $14.99 price tag Apple is likely to continue its grab for marketshare.

Here is a good analysis from Om Malik: "Given its history, the odds of Apple replicating the success it’s had with music in the movie download business are pretty high. The near ubiquity of its iTunes software and easy download process render it a good candidate for making a habit out of downloading movies. There is, of course, one problem when buying and download movies online: It takes forever."

This is good news for the ISP´s, whom now have more upsell arguments and branding opportunities when sellling broadband connections. On the bad side, VOD Online DVD rental outlets might face some challanges that will shake up their business models quite hard.

Click here to read more

I feel most discontent when I am alone. This seems odd to me, primarily because I'm strongly introverted. In fact, I took a very in-depth personality test once that suggested that I am so introverted that I am forced to find alternative methods to communicate; that the spoken word would often be found unsatisfying because of tendency to hide. The test results suggested that I would do one of many things: write, play music, act, and produce art, among the options. I've done all of these things. In fact, I've done all of these things for pay. (Except the artwork. No one would pay a cent for my oil paintings, nor should they.) Clearly, I have a great need to communicate, to feel connected, to feel as if I've expressed myself, even if I can't always say what I'm feeling or thinking. Yet, I also have an incredible need to protect myself, which makes it very difficult to talk openly. I've often said, "I'll tell you anything you want to know; you just have to ask me directly." That's actually true: I will be upfront when asked a specific question, but if you give me any wiggle room at all, if you don't look me in the eye and say, "I want the absolute, whole truth," I tend to give people the brush off. It's not a great quality, but it's there.

Boyfriend is the only person with whom this is not true--the only person whom I've learned to let into my head during face-to-face time. He gets my thoughts and feelings uncensored, and as such I feel like he sees a much smarter, feistier, more selfish, more loving, angrier, happier, gentler, insecure me. This is at the same time unbelievably wonderful and awfully vulnerable. I told him last night that being in a relationship is kind of like being awake for open-heart surgery. You know the surgery is necessary and good--without it you can't live, but you have no control over what's happening and sometimes it really hurts.

I'm trying to carry that kind of openness and vulnerability into my other relationships. I feel as if my instinct to self-protect has been a roadblock in a lot of my relationships. People react to this roadblock in different ways. Some people cheerfully plow through it. I once had a friend tell me, "I know you have all these walls and barriers in your heart and mind because you've been hurt by all kinds of stuff you're afraid to tell me about, but you should know, I'm getting in whether you like it or not, so just relax and let me love you, okay?" I have this hang-up about letting my male friends see me cry, but just then I burst into tears and let this brother-friend scoop me into his arms and hold me till I had cried all the hurt out.

In other relationships, this roadblock has caused severe strain. Another friend of mine (who is in no danger of ever readying this post) once told me that the fact that there was always a bit of hesitation before I spoke to her made her feel as if I didn't trust her. Furthermore, she couldn't have a friendship with someone that didn't trust her.

And then there are those that just get it, and meet you where you are. I've been emailing back-and-forth the past couple of days with my college roommates. Neither of them fall into the two above categories: there was no aggressive (but loving) statement made that they would see my heart, no matter what. There were also no assumptions made that because I hole myself away that I don't love them or trust them. We've experienced good and bad in our relationships with one another, but mostly we just lived together. In that way they, just like my current roommates, are one of the most lovely and unexpected blessings imaginable.

Here's why: my home is my safe place. It's where I fall apart. I rush home after work on Fridays, eager to lock myself away, even just for an hour, from the bustle and the traffic going on outside my door. I feel like I'm hiding from the rest of the world on Friday afternoons, like a little kid sitting underneath a big table covered with a table cloth. In my safe place, my walls are generally down. Just by living in proximity to me, I've unconsciously created a community of women who know me better than I think they do. They're aware of insecurities, strengths, and passions that (I thought) I kept completely hidden. This kind of awareness creates an understanding that is always present, even in the tone of group emails I've exchanged with my college roommates in the past couple of days when I probably should have converting .eps graphics. How strange and wonderful to think that I have a safe place in people.

I lived on the opposite end of the country from boyfriend for a summer. I had already planned to move back to where he was living to finish school, but I had come to a realization in our time apart that I was truly homeless. School was not a home, for many very complex reasons I couldn't go home to my family, Seattle was not my home--I was just visiting, and I didn't even know where I was going to live when I got back to the East Coast. While boyfriend was visiting me, I tearfully expressed this to him. "Where am I supposed to go when school is over? Everyone I've lived with since college is married or moving, and I don't have a home to go back to, or relatives I can live with. What's a home if it's a cold apartment you live in by yourself? Where will I go?" He gathered me up in his arms and said, "Right here. I'm your home, and you're mine."

He was right, and if that old saying, "home is where your heart is,"  is true, I found my home that day. But a wonderful realization came to me when I was talking to Red a few weeks ago. I told her what boyfriend had said and she smiled at me. "Then I'm your home too, right?" I only had to think about that for a split second before answering, "Yes." In the last two years, my idea of home has gone from a wistful, abstract mental picture of a happy nuclear family with a fire in the fireplace, a kettle on the stove, and leather books on the shelves, to an image of my current Red House, filled with all the people who know me better than I thought and despite my best efforts and love me anyway. I may never live in a big house, but I already live in a very, very big home.

A Japanese civil servant has been demoted for visiting porn sites during work. In a nine month period his computer registered over 780,000 hits! Let’s see that’s nearly 3000 a day, Apparently this is Japan’s tax dollars at work. Godzilla and baseball just didn’t satisfy this guy. The man, whose name is being withheld, worked, well obviously there wasn’t much working going on, for the Kinokawa city government. He’s been demoted, hopefully to a job that doesn’t have an internet hookup. I would wonder what he was thinking, but it is obvious that there was only one thing on his mind. Get a date, go to a bar, buy a blow-up doll. According to his computer log, he registered 170,000 hits in July alone. That must have been one hot summer. He had to be porn’s single best customer. Didn’t this guy have any actual work to do? Nobody had a clue this was going on. Was his job so unimportant that no one ever checked up on him. His porn addiction was only discovered after his computer caught a virus and officials actually viewed his computer log. I wonder how many of those sites the techs bookmarked. This is probably the only time a computer virus did some good. Hopefully the offender is headed for counseling. Truthfully, I think he should have blogged his “Best Sites” and he probably would have been a hit. Then he could have dated porn stars and fulfilled his every fantasy. Before long the book deals would have been rolling in. It would give a new meaning to “Hawt Posts.” You would have been cool instead of just weird. People just don’t think these things out. Wait a minute, maybe I….

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080502/ap_on_fe_st/japan_internet_porn

Dad&Mom_10-16April

When Kodak engineer Steve Sasson brought his first prototype of a digital camera into the Kodak boardroom to show to management, the reaction was not what he had hoped for his new invention.

“My prototype was big as a toaster, but the technical people loved it,” Mr. Sasson said. “But it was filmless photography, so management’s reaction was, ‘that’s cute — but don’t tell anyone about it.’ ”

I remember similar reactions showing off Intertainer's IP Video On Demand system to the major studios in 1997. The DVD business was booming and all I heard was the word "cannibalization". A little later I heard the story of one of the initial demos of the Tivo system to a major media executive. When the demo was over the exec unplugged the Tivo and threw it out the second floor window of his conference room and told the shocked Tivo execs never to darken his door again.

I say all this because this morning the U.S. sales figues for autos were released(chart above).

The switch to smaller, more fuel-efficient vehicles has been building in recent years, but has accelerated recently with the advent of $3.50-a-gallon gas. At the same time, sales of pickup trucks and large sport utility vehicles have dropped sharply.

Like the Kodak executives trying to preserve their high margin film sales, U.S. auto companies have been trying to deny reality to preserve the high margin truck and SUV business.

The trend toward smaller and lighter vehicles with better mileage is a blow to Detroit automakers, which offer fewer such models than Asian carmakers like Toyota and Honda.

Part of the nature of innovation is creative destruction. Joseph Schumpeter, the Harvard economist who coined the phrase said,   "Profit comes only from innovation. When all companies are making the same goods the same way, none can make a profit, because they eventually cut prices to the level of their costs." But the Detroit automakers steadfastly resisted the hybrid technologies Toyota and Honda were developing, determined to hold on to their me too truck business. And now they are going to experience the same involuntary creative destruction that Kodak has been going through for the last 15 years.

It seems to me this same dynamic is taking place in the alternative energy space. The existing power players--oil companies, utilities, coal producers--are trying to hold on to a system that will not work for the future. They know the digital camera makes more sense. They are just afraid to let go. The Wall Street Journal, commenting on Exxon's record earnings  (Rupert subscription required) yesterday said,

The soaring profits from fossil-fuels are coming as the rules for the industry are being rewritten, pressuring oil companies to move beyond fossil fuels to new sources of energy. With new finds rare and the best sources in countries that limit Western investors, crude oil is no longer viewed as the abundant, dominant fuel it once was. Critics contend that unless these companies focus more on the future, today's record profits could dry up.

This country's corporate leadership is going to have to be dragged kicking and screaming through this Interregnum into the Green Age. The next President is going to have to be a corporate ass kicker.

I was excited & impressed when I came across Shaikr's website & readthat he had made a graphic for another blogger, Saad Ahmad Rashad for his blog, Chill Yo Islam Yo. And so when he made the offer, I jumped & grabbed at the first chance. And here's what he has done for me:

Hehehe. If you want one too, do give him a visit. And please pay his efforts laa. If not for him, at least for his baby thats on the way insyaAllah! :)

I didn't give him a picture to work on so he didn't know what I looked like. But gooood righttt? I'm so happy that I actually dressed the same way as my virtual self to take the picture haha.

Woohoo! My mother was so cute. Earlier when I asked her to help me take the picture, she went "Eh Mee, wait ah let me find a red file." Hahaha. Aiyoyo my mother is super cute la.

I've got so much to talk about. Like my disdain for the education system, how my brother made me melt with his comment, the ever-amazing Tafseer class earlier, my trip to JB and my first bekam aka hijamah experience. But because I am so happy & excited for tomorrow, I shall do all that another time.

3rd May is finally here! Yesssaaaaa! I've been counting down since I signed up! InsyaAllah I'll be at the Beloved Mustafa seminar at Masjid Alkaff. If anyone of you is going too and recognize me, do come and say hello! Despite my anti-social claims, I'm quite smiley & friendly really, sometimes. Heh. But tmw is a talk on Prophet Muhammad SAW! Of course I'll be smiley so yeah, don't shy-shy okay. :)

Happiness is truly a blessing. And Allah SWT is the Best of Planners. :)

"To each is a goal to which Allah turns him; then strive together towards all that is good. Wheresoever you are, Allah will bring you together. For Allah has power over all things."

Surah al-Baqarah: 148

And I found myself with another blessing - another Spiritual Comrade, who loves all things I love. Alhamdulillah. I have an intention to write about friends in the next post so look out for that. The journey is so much smoother and easier to bear when you have people with the same goals. Truly, that ayah up there is close to my heart.

I pray everyone is well on this blessed night. By the way, for those who have not seen this week's episode on DYN, what are you waiting for?

I've been thinking about getting a battery grip for my Nikon D40 for a long time, but, Nikon didn't make one, so that left me up the creek, so about a week ago, I started to do some ebay research... I find that theres always someone who has what your looking for, and it usually seems to come from Hong Kong... So I searched ebay "battery grip for nikon d40" what appears, none other than the Phottix Battery Grip from Hong Kong. I paid about 30 bucks for the item, which was great, because usually battery grips around closer to the $200 mark, and I wasn't going to spend anywhere near that.
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